I Don’t Hate What Autism Has Done to My Life

I Don’t Hate What Autism Has Done to My Life
by Tammy Rodriguez, parent

You heard me right; I don’t hate what autism has done to my life.

If you would have told me six years ago that I would ever utter those words, I would have called you crazy, insane, or worse.

In 1998, almost eight months pregnant with my second child, our pediatrician whispered to himself out loud: "Oh my God, I think we have another case of autism here." The pediatrician knew he was supposed to wait for the team to diagnose my 3-year-old son Jack, which was months away, but his disbelief overcame his protocol simply because Jack was his sixth diagnosis of autism that week.

Being the movie buffs that we are, my husband and I immediately thought of Rainman.

How could our precious 3-year-old boy turn into Rainman? Surely Jack wasn’t speaking in 2-3 word phrases or following simple 2-step directions because I was a working mom and he and his grandmother watched too many Barney and Thomas videos during the day. Surely he was just another kind of brilliant, something that the pediatrician obviously did not see in his 30 minute physical exam. This 3-year-old child knew his ABC’s and numbers. He was reading license plates. He turned the letter Z sideways and knew it was an N. There must be some mistake.

Oh, the many faces of autism we were about to embark on.

I don’t hate what autism has done to my life. Autism, quite simply, has made me a better person.

It has forced me to slow down. It sounds trite, but I truly do appreciate the little things now. I don’t take much for granted.

I listen to people, I mean really listen to people.

I try to understand the cause and effect in not just the behavior of my children, but in most every person and every obstacle I encounter. I have more patience than I ever thought possible.

I try everyday to concentrate on the present, not too much on the past or too much on the future. And I certainly do not sweat the small stuff.

I don’t hate what autism has done to my life. Yes, autism has made me a better person.

I do, however, hate what autism has done to the lives of my children.

I hate that they may never develop friendships like I have. I hate that there exists the real possibility that my boys may never know the joy of a base hit, a game winning soccer goal or a touchdown.

I hate that my children may never experience butterflies in their stomach when driving their first car or asking a girl out for a first date.

There are some days that I hate thinking my children may never get a high school diploma, let alone go on to college, or have a fulfilling career because our test crazy society has yet to develop any kind of test that can truly gauge the intelligence of my boys.

I hate that my boys may never know the consuming feeling of falling in love, getting married, and the incredible joy of having children of their own.

I may not hate what autism has done to my life, but I despise what it has done to the lives of my children.

When I first started dealing with all of these new emotions six years ago when Jack was diagnosed, and again three years ago when my second son, Joe, was diagnosed, I thought autism could change the lives of our family, friends and acquaintances just as it had changed our lives. I thought that Jack and Joe would teach them to slow down and feel truly blessed for what they had.

I thought our friends would cease to worry so much if Bobbie was not the star of the soccer team or if Susie was not the head cheerleader and honor roll student. I believed that they all would realize that every child has his or her own strengths—that every child has a gift and an ability to make his or her own contributions to our society.

Well, I soon learned how naive that thinking was. Let’s face it, most people are so busy with their own lives that they simply cannot or choose now to slow down and learn what Jack and Joe can teach them.

But all is not lost …

Just because people can’t allow Jack and Joe to truly change their lives, does not mean they do not want to help Jack and Joe. They are more than happy to contribute to our many causes and for that I am touched and grateful.

Living from the Heart Brings Children and Dolphins Together

Dolphins love children -- especially children with special needs. When even the smallest and youngest of these special kids enter the dolphins' world, they are fearless. They smile and squeal with delight. It's magic.

Most of the children we see at Living from the Heart, receive more than their share of therapy and our intention is that they have a great time while benefiting from their dolphin experiences. Dolphins plus kids equals fun.

To introduce the children to the dolphins, we watch the baby and Mom dolphins swim by the large underwater viewing window. The turquoise background for these beautiful babies is spectacular. While at the viewing window each child receives a stuffed dolphin.

Now it's time for our special dolphin encounter. Three kids and their parent(s) enter the shallow encounter pool with their dolphin friend, dolphin trainer and Macy (founder and director of Living from the Heart).

The magic truly begins as our dolphin "healer" connects with each child. Dolphin and child touch foreheads as their personal introduction. This is an important moment when the dolphin-child bond begins.

This incredible time continues as the dolphin sonars the child's head, heart and feet as Macy and the parent comfortably cradle the child. The time in the water is about 45 minutes, depending upon the attention span of the child. Feeding the dolphin is something most kids really enjoy and they will have the opportunity to do that. Dolphin rides around the small pool are a favorite of everyone. We laugh --cry --share --and smile. The joy felt by everyone present is almost overwhelming.

After each dolphin encounter, we'll share ice cream and dolphin stories in the lovely picnic area at the dolphin center. We have formed a strong bond and just shared amazing experiences, and it's important to share our feelings.

It is imperative that each child feel as safe and comfortable as possible. For this reason we encourage parents and other close family members to be in the water or "poolside". Everyone is drawn in and a huge part of this wonderful sight.

Some of the positive changes we have seen take place after autistic children experience dolphin assisted therapy are they begin speaking --sometimes for the first time, sometimes after years of not speaking. 7 year old Kyle said "Mom" after his time with the dolphins. Needless to day Mom was elated to hear that word. Hunter spoke before her time with the dolphins, but she didn't converse --she quoted Dr. Seuss or "parrotted back" what she heard someone else say. During her time in Mexico with the dolphins, Hunter's parents told her not to go outside without them. One day she put her hand on the door knob, looked at her Mom and asked "can I go outside?" Not only was this conversing --she thought through what her parents had said --formulated and spoke a question. When Mom said no, she responded by not going outside.

Children learn 2 to 10 times faster when they have been in the presence of dolphins and they retain what they have learned. Mark graduated to a higher level school immediately following his dolphin therapy, and his teachers and family members give all the credit to the dolphins!! For the first time ever, Jeremy began working on grade level after his dolphin interaction.

Their focus increases. Kyle began watching t.v. while in Mexico for his dolphin therapy. This may not sound like a good thing but before he could not focus enough to even stop in front of the t.v.

Many of these children become calmer, and their social skills improve. Immediately following Jeremy's first swim, he was much calmer, spoke more softly and didn't chew his fingers. He began having normal conversations with others and making eye contact.

Scientifically, dolphin sonar positively changes the soft tissue in humans --much like ultrasound. We go to hospitals to have an area of our body receive ultrasound to see what is going on and/or to heal that particular area. That's what dolphins do! They can "see" what's going on inside of us --emotions --physical pain --pins in hips --pacemakers in hearts --and they can tell if a woman is pregnant, by picking up the heartbeat of the baby.

Not-as-scientifically, being in the presence of dolphins puts humans in a very relaxed state. Dolphins must think about each breath they take and because of that they live constantly in an alpha (relaxed) brainwave. When we humans are in their presence, our brainwaves become synchronized with theirs. Our brainwaves go from "beta" (active, more stressed) to "alpha". Our minds and bodies become much more relaxed.

The late Dr. Steve Jozsef, M.D., co-founder of Living From The Heart, measured the brainwaves of dolphin trip participants. He found that 100% of the time peoples' brainwaves dropped to alpha from beta. What this means to us is that when our bodies and minds are not stressed, we can heal --we can learn more easily --our immune systems are stronger.

The not-scientific-at-all theory is that when children and dolphins come together "magic" happens --"miracles" happen. They're gifts from God --they're inexplicable.

For more information on dolphin assisted therapy please contact us at:

Living From The Heart
(303)499-3034 --Betty Boon's phone number in Coloradobkboon@msn.com
011-52-329-2982098 --Macy's and Living From The Heart number in Mexico
macyjozsef@yahoo.com or visit us at www.livingfromtheheart.org
and www.vallarta-adventures.com